Quote

Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.

Billy Connolly

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Billy Connolly
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Quarters
Identify
Pounder
Americans
Tartan
Simply
Kilt
Easy
Kilts
Tell
Mcdonald
Look
Scottish
Looks
Quarter

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What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?
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I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
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If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.
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Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
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Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.
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I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don't care what you think.
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Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
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When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
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