Quote

I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce - my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions - the absurdity of the thing.

Billy Connolly

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Billy Connolly
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Main
Malfunction
Crosses
Lenny
Function
Bruce
Body
Robert
Thing
Thrust
Functions
Absurdity
Cross

More quotes by Billy Connolly

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I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That's what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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If you're going to do an interview about a movie or anything like that, you're vulnerable. You say stupid things. Or if you're applying for a green card you feel very vulnerable and you're likely to spout out something stupid in the middle of it all.
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I don't understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I'm amazed what people come up with when they look at them. There's one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.
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If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I'm desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I'm going back, but I'm not. I'd rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
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I've been very lucky because I've always had movies to do. So if I got bored between shows a movie would turn up.
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I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
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Oh aye...my Father would thrash me every now and then. He'd talk while he did it too! He'd hit me and shout, 'Have ye had enough?' Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? 'Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???'
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I love fishing. It's transcendental meditation with a punchline.
Billy Connolly
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Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
Billy Connolly
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Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.
Billy Connolly
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The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
Billy Connolly
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Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.
Billy Connolly
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Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you've blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that... wrll, it's because the national anthem is boring.
Billy Connolly
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Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question.
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The more you know the less the better.
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded.
Billy Connolly