Quote

I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce - my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions - the absurdity of the thing.

Billy Connolly

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Thing
Thrust
Functions
Absurdity
Cross
Main
Malfunction
Crosses
Lenny
Function
Bruce
Body
Robert

More quotes by Billy Connolly

Image
A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.
Billy Connolly
Image
There's nothing like it, but it's not as good as you think it's going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club's badge - but not a sausage.
Billy Connolly
Image
Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
Billy Connolly
Image
There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
Billy Connolly
Image
I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.
Billy Connolly
Image
Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you've blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that... wrll, it's because the national anthem is boring.
Billy Connolly
Image
Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
Billy Connolly
Image
Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose.
Billy Connolly
Image
I don't think I've ever died on stage. I've had jokes that died on stage. I've told a joke and absolutely nothing. They didn't know it was the end of the joke.
Billy Connolly
Image
I've been a poser for f--ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
Billy Connolly
Image
All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a cow a good fright, entangle a Yorkshire terrier for life, and is nasty stuff made by greedy men.
Billy Connolly
Image
Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
Billy Connolly
Image
The zombie sex, I have no idea. It must be like tantric sex.
Billy Connolly
Image
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here?
Billy Connolly
Image
Try to catch a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it swimming away.
Billy Connolly
Image
The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.
Billy Connolly
Image
Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
Billy Connolly
Image
Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
Billy Connolly
Image
I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
Billy Connolly
Image
I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
Billy Connolly