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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Becoming
Knowing
Welder
Wrong
Queue
Actually
Queues
Without
Engineer
Joined
Engineers
Became
More quotes by Billy Connolly
I like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.
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The more you know the less the better.
Billy Connolly
I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce - my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions - the absurdity of the thing.
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Never trust anybody with only one book.
Billy Connolly
There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
Billy Connolly
Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
Billy Connolly
I don't like the beach. I think we have no business at the beach at all, as a species. We don't belong in the sea. The sea is full of things that bite us, sting us, hurt the soles of our feet, and it's extremely cold. When are we gonna take the hint that the things that live in the sea don't like us?
Billy Connolly
I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
Billy Connolly
Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
Billy Connolly
Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
Billy Connolly
I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
Billy Connolly
I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.
Billy Connolly
Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
Billy Connolly
I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.
Billy Connolly
I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little.
Billy Connolly
Don't die until you're dead.
Billy Connolly
Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
Billy Connolly
Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
Billy Connolly
A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.
Billy Connolly
I just believe in the movie. I don't care what the book was like. I don't care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I've got.
Billy Connolly
