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Try to live in a place you like.
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Trying
Like
Place
Live
More quotes by Billy Connolly
I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce - my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions - the absurdity of the thing.
Billy Connolly
I love fishing. It's transcendental meditation with a punchline.
Billy Connolly
I don't think I've ever died on stage. I've had jokes that died on stage. I've told a joke and absolutely nothing. They didn't know it was the end of the joke.
Billy Connolly
,000 people in Hampden Park. Of course they're all Scottish. Because no one else goes there. The English have an unwritten rule: they only go to places they might get back from.
Billy Connolly
I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
Billy Connolly
I've never done a comedy club in my life. It's weird because I don't have the same background as most comics. I don't have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
Billy Connolly
When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
Billy Connolly
On George W Bush: That man sits at that desk in the White House with the button that can end the world. My father's younger than him and we don't give him the controls for the television.
Billy Connolly
I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
Billy Connolly
It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.
Billy Connolly
Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
Billy Connolly
When people say it's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
Billy Connolly
I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
Billy Connolly
Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
Billy Connolly
A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.
Billy Connolly
I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
Billy Connolly
Don't die until you're dead.
Billy Connolly
I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I'm desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I'm going back, but I'm not. I'd rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
Billy Connolly
I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly
Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
Billy Connolly