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If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Time
Meditate
Sitting
Spend
Least
Trying
Every
More quotes by Billy Connolly
When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
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Where do you go when you die? The same place you were before you were born nowhere! It's over!
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I like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.
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For me, it's about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.
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Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
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The zombie sex, I have no idea. It must be like tantric sex.
Billy Connolly
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. Is this yours? she asked probably said Paddy she burns everything else
Billy Connolly
Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question.
Billy Connolly
The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
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I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
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There's no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.
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I've never done a comedy club in my life. It's weird because I don't have the same background as most comics. I don't have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
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A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!
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Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
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Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
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Don't die until you're dead.
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All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a cow a good fright, entangle a Yorkshire terrier for life, and is nasty stuff made by greedy men.
Billy Connolly
Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.
Billy Connolly
I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
Billy Connolly
I'm one of the school of people who don't do research of the reality of the thing or the unreality of the thing. In all the movies I've done, I've never done any research.
Billy Connolly
