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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!

Billy Connolly

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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Fire
Fires
Causes
Forest
Forests
Trees
Main
Save
Cause
Tree

More quotes by Billy Connolly

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Oh aye...my Father would thrash me every now and then. He'd talk while he did it too! He'd hit me and shout, 'Have ye had enough?' Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? 'Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???'
Billy Connolly
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I don't think I've ever died on stage. I've had jokes that died on stage. I've told a joke and absolutely nothing. They didn't know it was the end of the joke.
Billy Connolly
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I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
Billy Connolly
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Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. Is this yours? she asked probably said Paddy she burns everything else
Billy Connolly
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A fart is just your arse applauding.
Billy Connolly
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Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
Billy Connolly
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Outgrew the media... The negativity felt like a disease.
Billy Connolly
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Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
Billy Connolly
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I'm one of the school of people who don't do research of the reality of the thing or the unreality of the thing. In all the movies I've done, I've never done any research.
Billy Connolly
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If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.
Billy Connolly
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If you're going to do an interview about a movie or anything like that, you're vulnerable. You say stupid things. Or if you're applying for a green card you feel very vulnerable and you're likely to spout out something stupid in the middle of it all.
Billy Connolly
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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
Billy Connolly
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I don't like the beach. I think we have no business at the beach at all, as a species. We don't belong in the sea. The sea is full of things that bite us, sting us, hurt the soles of our feet, and it's extremely cold. When are we gonna take the hint that the things that live in the sea don't like us?
Billy Connolly
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I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
Billy Connolly
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[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven't missed a thing, I was just killing time 'til you got here.
Billy Connolly
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Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
Billy Connolly
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If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
Billy Connolly
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
Billy Connolly
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
Billy Connolly
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Billy Connolly