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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Willing
Channel
Change
Search
People
Refuse
Entire
Walk
Room
Arse
Rooms
Arses
Walks
Remote
More quotes by Billy Connolly
Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
Billy Connolly
Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.
Billy Connolly
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
Billy Connolly
Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
Billy Connolly
There's nothing like it, but it's not as good as you think it's going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club's badge - but not a sausage.
Billy Connolly
Never trust anybody with only one book.
Billy Connolly
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. Is this yours? she asked probably said Paddy she burns everything else
Billy Connolly
I've never done a comedy club in my life. It's weird because I don't have the same background as most comics. I don't have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
Billy Connolly
Try to catch a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it swimming away.
Billy Connolly
Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
Billy Connolly
In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded.
Billy Connolly
I've been a poser for f--ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
Billy Connolly
If you want to lose a bit of weight, don't eat anything out of a bucket.
Billy Connolly
I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
Billy Connolly
If you're going to do an interview about a movie or anything like that, you're vulnerable. You say stupid things. Or if you're applying for a green card you feel very vulnerable and you're likely to spout out something stupid in the middle of it all.
Billy Connolly
Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.
Billy Connolly
I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
Billy Connolly
Where do you go when you die? The same place you were before you were born nowhere! It's over!
Billy Connolly
Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
Billy Connolly
I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.
Billy Connolly
