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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Walks
Remote
Willing
Channel
Change
Search
People
Refuse
Entire
Walk
Room
Arse
Rooms
Arses
More quotes by Billy Connolly
I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
Billy Connolly
Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
Billy Connolly
Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.
Billy Connolly
Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
Billy Connolly
I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly
When people say it's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
Billy Connolly
Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.
Billy Connolly
I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That's what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
Billy Connolly
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. Is this yours? she asked probably said Paddy she burns everything else
Billy Connolly
What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?
Billy Connolly
There's nothing like it, but it's not as good as you think it's going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club's badge - but not a sausage.
Billy Connolly
The more you know the less the better.
Billy Connolly
I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
Billy Connolly
I've never done a comedy club in my life. It's weird because I don't have the same background as most comics. I don't have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
Billy Connolly
I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
Billy Connolly
Oh aye...my Father would thrash me every now and then. He'd talk while he did it too! He'd hit me and shout, 'Have ye had enough?' Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? 'Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???'
Billy Connolly
,000 people in Hampden Park. Of course they're all Scottish. Because no one else goes there. The English have an unwritten rule: they only go to places they might get back from.
Billy Connolly
If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.
Billy Connolly
Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
Billy Connolly
A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!
Billy Connolly
