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The more you know the less the better.
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Less
Better
More quotes by Billy Connolly
Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.
Billy Connolly
Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
Billy Connolly
Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
Billy Connolly
Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.
Billy Connolly
I just believe in the movie. I don't care what the book was like. I don't care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I've got.
Billy Connolly
I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That's what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
Billy Connolly
Try to catch a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it swimming away.
Billy Connolly
Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
Billy Connolly
I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.
Billy Connolly
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Billy Connolly
Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose.
Billy Connolly
I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
Billy Connolly
It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.
Billy Connolly
I'm one of the school of people who don't do research of the reality of the thing or the unreality of the thing. In all the movies I've done, I've never done any research.
Billy Connolly
Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
Billy Connolly
A fart is just your arse applauding.
Billy Connolly
I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.
Billy Connolly
I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
Billy Connolly
Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.
Billy Connolly
For me, it's about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.
Billy Connolly
