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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don't care what you think.

Billy Connolly

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Billy Connolly
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Needs
Swing
Think
Swings
Thinking
Heads
World
Round
People
Rounds
Language
Care
Take
Edwin

More quotes by Billy Connolly

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When people say it's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
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I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. ... That can keep me awake for days.
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Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question.
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The zombie sex, I have no idea. It must be like tantric sex.
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I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.
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Try to live in a place you like.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
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Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the dark hiding. It's easy to hide and shout and waste people's time.
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
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I think of my life as a series of moments and I've found that the great moments often don't have too much to them. They're not huge, complicated events they're just magical wee moments when somebody says 'I love you' or 'You're a really good at what you do' or simply 'You're a good person'.
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I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
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I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
Billy Connolly
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I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
Billy Connolly
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If you're going to do an interview about a movie or anything like that, you're vulnerable. You say stupid things. Or if you're applying for a green card you feel very vulnerable and you're likely to spout out something stupid in the middle of it all.
Billy Connolly
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The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
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Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.
Billy Connolly
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I've been very lucky because I've always had movies to do. So if I got bored between shows a movie would turn up.
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Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded.
Billy Connolly