Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
Billy Connolly
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Lap
Scotland
Disgrace
Football
Team
Doe
World
More quotes by Billy Connolly
Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it's like they're in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
Billy Connolly
The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
Billy Connolly
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here?
Billy Connolly
Where do you go when you die? The same place you were before you were born nowhere! It's over!
Billy Connolly
People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
Billy Connolly
Don't die until you're dead.
Billy Connolly
I don't aim to offend.
Billy Connolly
If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
Billy Connolly
There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
Billy Connolly
My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
Billy Connolly
My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
Billy Connolly
I've been a poser for f--ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
Billy Connolly
Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
Billy Connolly
If you're going to do an interview about a movie or anything like that, you're vulnerable. You say stupid things. Or if you're applying for a green card you feel very vulnerable and you're likely to spout out something stupid in the middle of it all.
Billy Connolly
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
Billy Connolly
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Billy Connolly
Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
Billy Connolly
Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
Billy Connolly
I love fishing. It's transcendental meditation with a punchline.
Billy Connolly
There's no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.
Billy Connolly
