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My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Loses
Bits
Utensils
Comes
Bucket
Anything
Buckets
Kitchen
Weight
Advice
Lose
More quotes by Billy Connolly
I don't like the beach. I think we have no business at the beach at all, as a species. We don't belong in the sea. The sea is full of things that bite us, sting us, hurt the soles of our feet, and it's extremely cold. When are we gonna take the hint that the things that live in the sea don't like us?
Billy Connolly
All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a cow a good fright, entangle a Yorkshire terrier for life, and is nasty stuff made by greedy men.
Billy Connolly
Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question.
Billy Connolly
There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
Billy Connolly
I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.
Billy Connolly
Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
Billy Connolly
In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded.
Billy Connolly
I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly
The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.
Billy Connolly
I've been very lucky because I've always had movies to do. So if I got bored between shows a movie would turn up.
Billy Connolly
I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
Billy Connolly
A fart is just your arse applauding.
Billy Connolly
I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
Billy Connolly
Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.
Billy Connolly
I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. ... That can keep me awake for days.
Billy Connolly
Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
Billy Connolly
If you want to lose a bit of weight, don't eat anything out of a bucket.
Billy Connolly
I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
Billy Connolly
Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
Billy Connolly
Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
Billy Connolly
