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Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you've blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that... wrll, it's because the national anthem is boring.
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
State
Boring
Values
Rate
Funny
National
States
Number
Blamed
Country
Value
Anthem
Things
Humor
Pound
Terrible
Unemployment
Numbers
Pounds
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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here?
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Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
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On George W Bush: That man sits at that desk in the White House with the button that can end the world. My father's younger than him and we don't give him the controls for the television.
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I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.
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Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
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I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
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Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
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Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.
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Try to catch a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it swimming away.
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it's like they're in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
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I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
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I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. ... That can keep me awake for days.
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I don't aim to offend.
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The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
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Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
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If you want to lose a bit of weight, don't eat anything out of a bucket.
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