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Don't die until you're dead.
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Aging
Dead
Dies
More quotes by Billy Connolly
I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.
Billy Connolly
I like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.
Billy Connolly
Try to catch a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it swimming away.
Billy Connolly
I've never done a comedy club in my life. It's weird because I don't have the same background as most comics. I don't have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
Billy Connolly
I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little.
Billy Connolly
I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. ... That can keep me awake for days.
Billy Connolly
For me, it's about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.
Billy Connolly
Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
Billy Connolly
Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you've blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that... wrll, it's because the national anthem is boring.
Billy Connolly
I just believe in the movie. I don't care what the book was like. I don't care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I've got.
Billy Connolly
I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
Billy Connolly
People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
Billy Connolly
Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
Billy Connolly
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. Is this yours? she asked probably said Paddy she burns everything else
Billy Connolly
Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
Billy Connolly
Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
Billy Connolly
I love fishing. It's transcendental meditation with a punchline.
Billy Connolly
All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a cow a good fright, entangle a Yorkshire terrier for life, and is nasty stuff made by greedy men.
Billy Connolly
Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
Billy Connolly
I don't like the beach. I think we have no business at the beach at all, as a species. We don't belong in the sea. The sea is full of things that bite us, sting us, hurt the soles of our feet, and it's extremely cold. When are we gonna take the hint that the things that live in the sea don't like us?
Billy Connolly