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Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.

Billy Connolly

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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Stolen
Expensive
Whenever
Wear
Looks
Something

More quotes by Billy Connolly

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Outgrew the media... The negativity felt like a disease.
Billy Connolly
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When people say it's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
Billy Connolly
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On George W Bush: That man sits at that desk in the White House with the button that can end the world. My father's younger than him and we don't give him the controls for the television.
Billy Connolly
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I think of my life as a series of moments and I've found that the great moments often don't have too much to them. They're not huge, complicated events they're just magical wee moments when somebody says 'I love you' or 'You're a really good at what you do' or simply 'You're a good person'.
Billy Connolly
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I don't think I've ever died on stage. I've had jokes that died on stage. I've told a joke and absolutely nothing. They didn't know it was the end of the joke.
Billy Connolly
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A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.
Billy Connolly
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If you're going to do an interview about a movie or anything like that, you're vulnerable. You say stupid things. Or if you're applying for a green card you feel very vulnerable and you're likely to spout out something stupid in the middle of it all.
Billy Connolly
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The more you know the less the better.
Billy Connolly
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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
Billy Connolly
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Oh aye...my Father would thrash me every now and then. He'd talk while he did it too! He'd hit me and shout, 'Have ye had enough?' Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? 'Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???'
Billy Connolly
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I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That's what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
Billy Connolly
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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I'm desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I'm going back, but I'm not. I'd rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
Billy Connolly
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I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly
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Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you've blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that... wrll, it's because the national anthem is boring.
Billy Connolly
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I love fishing. It's transcendental meditation with a punchline.
Billy Connolly
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The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.
Billy Connolly
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Try to live in a place you like.
Billy Connolly
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Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
Billy Connolly
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Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.
Billy Connolly
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don't care what you think.
Billy Connolly