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I love fishing. It's transcendental meditation with a punchline.
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Sea
Meditation
Love
Transcendental
Lakes
Fishing
Fishes
Boat
Rivers
More quotes by Billy Connolly
A fart is just your arse applauding.
Billy Connolly
Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
Billy Connolly
Try to catch a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it swimming away.
Billy Connolly
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here?
Billy Connolly
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
Billy Connolly
Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question.
Billy Connolly
When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
Billy Connolly
I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.
Billy Connolly
I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That's what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
Billy Connolly
The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
Billy Connolly
The zombie sex, I have no idea. It must be like tantric sex.
Billy Connolly
Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
Billy Connolly
Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
Billy Connolly
There's nothing like it, but it's not as good as you think it's going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club's badge - but not a sausage.
Billy Connolly
What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?
Billy Connolly
Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
Billy Connolly
Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you've blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that... wrll, it's because the national anthem is boring.
Billy Connolly
In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded.
Billy Connolly
Don't die until you're dead.
Billy Connolly
I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
Billy Connolly
