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I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.

Billy Connolly

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Billy Connolly
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Rounds
Liked
Spent
Singing
Arms
Whole
Loathed
Time
Battering
People
Round

More quotes by Billy Connolly

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Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don't care what you think.
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I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
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Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.
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When people say it's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded.
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it's like they're in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here?
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I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
Billy Connolly
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Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
Billy Connolly
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If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
Billy Connolly
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I love fishing. It's transcendental meditation with a punchline.
Billy Connolly
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce - my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions - the absurdity of the thing.
Billy Connolly
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
Billy Connolly
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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
Billy Connolly
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I like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.
Billy Connolly
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What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?
Billy Connolly
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On George W Bush: That man sits at that desk in the White House with the button that can end the world. My father's younger than him and we don't give him the controls for the television.
Billy Connolly
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I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
Billy Connolly
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I just believe in the movie. I don't care what the book was like. I don't care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I've got.
Billy Connolly