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I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.

Billy Connolly

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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
People
Round
Rounds
Liked
Spent
Singing
Arms
Whole
Loathed
Time
Battering

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I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
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Outgrew the media... The negativity felt like a disease.
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I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little.
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Never trust anybody with only one book.
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.
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Where do you go when you die? The same place you were before you were born nowhere! It's over!
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Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question.
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Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, Did you fall? He said, No, I'm tryin' to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.
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Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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I don't like the beach. I think we have no business at the beach at all, as a species. We don't belong in the sea. The sea is full of things that bite us, sting us, hurt the soles of our feet, and it's extremely cold. When are we gonna take the hint that the things that live in the sea don't like us?
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I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
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On George W Bush: That man sits at that desk in the White House with the button that can end the world. My father's younger than him and we don't give him the controls for the television.
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I think of my life as a series of moments and I've found that the great moments often don't have too much to them. They're not huge, complicated events they're just magical wee moments when somebody says 'I love you' or 'You're a really good at what you do' or simply 'You're a good person'.
Billy Connolly
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The zombie sex, I have no idea. It must be like tantric sex.
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,000 people in Hampden Park. Of course they're all Scottish. Because no one else goes there. The English have an unwritten rule: they only go to places they might get back from.
Billy Connolly
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I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
Billy Connolly
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Try to live in a place you like.
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When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
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