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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded.

Billy Connolly

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Billy Connolly
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Dishes
Mexico
Travel
Difference
Menu
Differences
Folded
Funny
Menus
Everything
Dish
Way
Insightful

More quotes by Billy Connolly

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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it's like they're in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
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Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's on the outside of your ass?
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When people say it's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
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I've been a poser for f--ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
Billy Connolly
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Try to live in a place you like.
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A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.
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I love fishing. It's transcendental meditation with a punchline.
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I think of my life as a series of moments and I've found that the great moments often don't have too much to them. They're not huge, complicated events they're just magical wee moments when somebody says 'I love you' or 'You're a really good at what you do' or simply 'You're a good person'.
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Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose.
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I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
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Where do you go when you die? The same place you were before you were born nowhere! It's over!
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All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a cow a good fright, entangle a Yorkshire terrier for life, and is nasty stuff made by greedy men.
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I don't think I've ever died on stage. I've had jokes that died on stage. I've told a joke and absolutely nothing. They didn't know it was the end of the joke.
Billy Connolly
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
Billy Connolly
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If you're going to do an interview about a movie or anything like that, you're vulnerable. You say stupid things. Or if you're applying for a green card you feel very vulnerable and you're likely to spout out something stupid in the middle of it all.
Billy Connolly
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If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.
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My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
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The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.
Billy Connolly