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I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.

Billy Connolly

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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Rain
Wrong
Hate
Tell
Weathermen
Littles
Clothings
Thing
Clothing
Sexy
Weather

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Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
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Where do you go when you die? The same place you were before you were born nowhere! It's over!
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Try to catch a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it swimming away.
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If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.
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Outgrew the media... The negativity felt like a disease.
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's on the outside of your ass?
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The more you know the less the better.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
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I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.
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I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
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When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here?
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I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
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I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. ... That can keep me awake for days.
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Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
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Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded.
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it's like they're in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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