Quote

What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?

Billy Connolly

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Humor
Came
Funny
Find
Staggers
Look
Noses
Looks
Blow
Always
People
Expect

More quotes by Billy Connolly

Image
Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you've blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that... wrll, it's because the national anthem is boring.
Billy Connolly
Image
Try to live in a place you like.
Billy Connolly
Image
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. Is this yours? she asked probably said Paddy she burns everything else
Billy Connolly
Image
Try to catch a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it swimming away.
Billy Connolly
Image
Don't die until you're dead.
Billy Connolly
Image
Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, Did you fall? He said, No, I'm tryin' to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.
Billy Connolly
Image
When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
Billy Connolly
Image
The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don't care what you think.
Billy Connolly
Image
Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
Billy Connolly
Image
A fart is just your arse applauding.
Billy Connolly
Image
I think of my life as a series of moments and I've found that the great moments often don't have too much to them. They're not huge, complicated events they're just magical wee moments when somebody says 'I love you' or 'You're a really good at what you do' or simply 'You're a good person'.
Billy Connolly
Image
The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.
Billy Connolly
Image
I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.
Billy Connolly
Image
When people say it's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
Billy Connolly
Image
There's no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.
Billy Connolly
Image
A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.
Billy Connolly
Image
I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
Billy Connolly
Image
Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.
Billy Connolly
Image
I?m much bigger in Britain than I am there. I'm well-known, but my name's That Guy in America. . . . People shout: Hey ? I know you! You're That Guy..
Billy Connolly
Image
Where do you go when you die? The same place you were before you were born nowhere! It's over!
Billy Connolly