Quote

What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?

Billy Connolly

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Billy Connolly
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Look
Staggers
Looks
Noses
Always
Blow
People
Expect
Humor
Came
Funny
Find

More quotes by Billy Connolly

Image
Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
Billy Connolly
Image
Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
Billy Connolly
Image
I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That's what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
Billy Connolly
Image
The more you know the less the better.
Billy Connolly
Image
My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
Billy Connolly
Image
If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
Billy Connolly
Image
Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question.
Billy Connolly
Image
I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.
Billy Connolly
Image
I like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.
Billy Connolly
Image
Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
Billy Connolly
Image
A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.
Billy Connolly
Image
People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
Billy Connolly
Image
On George W Bush: That man sits at that desk in the White House with the button that can end the world. My father's younger than him and we don't give him the controls for the television.
Billy Connolly
Image
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
Billy Connolly
Image
If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.
Billy Connolly
Image
Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
Billy Connolly
Image
I don't understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I'm amazed what people come up with when they look at them. There's one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.
Billy Connolly
Image
[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven't missed a thing, I was just killing time 'til you got here.
Billy Connolly
Image
I don't think I've ever died on stage. I've had jokes that died on stage. I've told a joke and absolutely nothing. They didn't know it was the end of the joke.
Billy Connolly
Image
Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
Billy Connolly