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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here?
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Would
Witty
Standing
Came
Asks
Waiting
Funny
Someone
Come
Bus
More quotes by Billy Connolly
A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
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Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it's like they're in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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And then there was my mate who'd just been fitted with a brand new hearing aid. It's the best in the world, he said. What type is it?, I asked and he said ten past twelve.
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don't care what you think.
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I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
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Try to catch a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it swimming away.
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Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
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On George W Bush: That man sits at that desk in the White House with the button that can end the world. My father's younger than him and we don't give him the controls for the television.
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.
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Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.
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Never trust anybody with only one book.
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I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
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A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.
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Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose.
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I just believe in the movie. I don't care what the book was like. I don't care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I've got.
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