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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here?
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Came
Asks
Waiting
Funny
Someone
Come
Bus
Would
Witty
Standing
More quotes by Billy Connolly
The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.
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I just believe in the movie. I don't care what the book was like. I don't care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I've got.
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And then there was my mate who'd just been fitted with a brand new hearing aid. It's the best in the world, he said. What type is it?, I asked and he said ten past twelve.
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Try to live in a place you like.
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.
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I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That's what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
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Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
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My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
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The zombie sex, I have no idea. It must be like tantric sex.
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Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
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I've been very lucky because I've always had movies to do. So if I got bored between shows a movie would turn up.
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Never trust anybody with only one book.
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[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven't missed a thing, I was just killing time 'til you got here.
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If you're going to do an interview about a movie or anything like that, you're vulnerable. You say stupid things. Or if you're applying for a green card you feel very vulnerable and you're likely to spout out something stupid in the middle of it all.
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I'm one of the school of people who don't do research of the reality of the thing or the unreality of the thing. In all the movies I've done, I've never done any research.
Billy Connolly
Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question.
Billy Connolly
Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.
Billy Connolly
