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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here?
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Waiting
Funny
Someone
Come
Bus
Would
Witty
Standing
Came
Asks
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There's nothing like it, but it's not as good as you think it's going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club's badge - but not a sausage.
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Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.
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Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
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I'm one of the school of people who don't do research of the reality of the thing or the unreality of the thing. In all the movies I've done, I've never done any research.
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.
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The zombie sex, I have no idea. It must be like tantric sex.
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Never trust anybody with only one book.
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I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
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I've been very lucky because I've always had movies to do. So if I got bored between shows a movie would turn up.
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My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
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I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.
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Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!
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Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
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Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. Is this yours? she asked probably said Paddy she burns everything else
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If you're going to do an interview about a movie or anything like that, you're vulnerable. You say stupid things. Or if you're applying for a green card you feel very vulnerable and you're likely to spout out something stupid in the middle of it all.
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
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Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.
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