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I like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.

Billy Connolly

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Billy Connolly
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Another
Magritte
Also
Rene
Like
Dali
Salvador
Surrealist
Scottish
John
Artist

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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don't care what you think.
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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I'm desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I'm going back, but I'm not. I'd rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
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Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. Is this yours? she asked probably said Paddy she burns everything else
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Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
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What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?
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Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
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Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, Did you fall? He said, No, I'm tryin' to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.
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The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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Don't die until you're dead.
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Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.
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I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. ... That can keep me awake for days.
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded.
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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here?
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce - my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions - the absurdity of the thing.
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Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
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I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That's what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
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Never trust anybody with only one book.
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There's nothing like it, but it's not as good as you think it's going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club's badge - but not a sausage.
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