Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
Billy Connolly
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Take
Zoos
Pet
Department
Parents
Comedy
Parent
Tell
Used
More quotes by Billy Connolly
People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
Billy Connolly
I?m much bigger in Britain than I am there. I'm well-known, but my name's That Guy in America. . . . People shout: Hey ? I know you! You're That Guy..
Billy Connolly
I love fishing. It's transcendental meditation with a punchline.
Billy Connolly
Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
Billy Connolly
I've been a poser for f--ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
Billy Connolly
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here?
Billy Connolly
I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce - my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions - the absurdity of the thing.
Billy Connolly
If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.
Billy Connolly
My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
Billy Connolly
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Billy Connolly
I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
Billy Connolly
I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.
Billy Connolly
The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.
Billy Connolly
I've been very lucky because I've always had movies to do. So if I got bored between shows a movie would turn up.
Billy Connolly
I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
Billy Connolly
I don't think I've ever died on stage. I've had jokes that died on stage. I've told a joke and absolutely nothing. They didn't know it was the end of the joke.
Billy Connolly
I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
Billy Connolly
If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
Billy Connolly
I like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.
Billy Connolly
Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
Billy Connolly
