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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Scotland
June
Seasons
Winter
Travel
Comedy
Wintertime
Two
Scots
Scottish
More quotes by Billy Connolly
A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.
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I don't aim to offend.
Billy Connolly
A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!
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My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
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Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
Billy Connolly
I love fishing. It's transcendental meditation with a punchline.
Billy Connolly
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
Billy Connolly
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. Is this yours? she asked probably said Paddy she burns everything else
Billy Connolly
The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don't care what you think.
Billy Connolly
And then there was my mate who'd just been fitted with a brand new hearing aid. It's the best in the world, he said. What type is it?, I asked and he said ten past twelve.
Billy Connolly
I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
Billy Connolly
If you're going to do an interview about a movie or anything like that, you're vulnerable. You say stupid things. Or if you're applying for a green card you feel very vulnerable and you're likely to spout out something stupid in the middle of it all.
Billy Connolly
Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
Billy Connolly
The more you know the less the better.
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I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That's what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
Billy Connolly
Try to live in a place you like.
Billy Connolly
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Billy Connolly
I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
Billy Connolly
Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
Billy Connolly
Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, Did you fall? He said, No, I'm tryin' to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.
Billy Connolly
