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Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.

Bill Watterson

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Bill Watterson
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: July 5
Author
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Washington
District of Columbia
Humor
Truth
Nothing
Surprising
Surprise
Essence

More quotes by Bill Watterson

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Miss Wormwood: Calvin, your test was an absolute disgrace! It's obvious you haven't read any of the material. Our first president was not Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and you ought to be ashamed to have turned in such preposterous answers! Calvin: I just don't test well.
Bill Watterson
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CALVIN: When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.
Bill Watterson
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I wish people were more like animals. Animals don't try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company. Animals aren't conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you're sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.
Bill Watterson
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Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?
Bill Watterson
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Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.
Bill Watterson
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There's more to this world than just people, you know.
Bill Watterson
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It's always better to leave the party early.
Bill Watterson
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Verbing weirds language.
Bill Watterson
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My guess is that the editor [Cincinnati Post] wanted his own Jeff MacNelly (a Pulitzer winner at 24), and I didn't live up to his expectations. My Cincinnati days were pretty Kafkaesque.
Bill Watterson
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It seems the less I do and say, the better everyone likes my work!
Bill Watterson
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Calvin is hammering nails into coffee table. Mom: CALVIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE COFFEE TABLE?!? Calvin: Is this some sort of trick question, or what?
Bill Watterson
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Even when you look for it, you're never prepared for it.
Bill Watterson
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Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?
Bill Watterson
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The strips I admire go farther than a gag a day, and take us into a special world.
Bill Watterson
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Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?
Bill Watterson
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Hobbes: What are you doing? Calvin: Being cool. Hobbes: You look more like you're being bored. Calvin: The world bores you when you're cool. Hobbes: Look, I brought a sombrero! Now we can both be cool. Calvin: A sombrero?! Are you crazy?! Cool people don't wear sombreros! Hobbes: What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?
Bill Watterson
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You are demoted from First Tiger to bulk rate.
Bill Watterson
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We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.
Bill Watterson
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S...For Stupendous! T...For Tiger, ferocity of! U...For Underwear, Red! P...For Power, Incredible! E...For excellent physique! N...For...Um...Something..Hm, well, I'll come back to that... D...For Determination! U...For...Wait, How do you spell this? Is it I??
Bill Watterson
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I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.
Bill Watterson