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My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.

Bill Watterson

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Bill Watterson
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: July 5
Author
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Washington
District of Columbia
Lips
Move
Moving
Problem
Whole
Think
Thinking

More quotes by Bill Watterson

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I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
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I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.
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I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.
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People always make the mistake of thinking art is created for them. But really, art is a private language for sophisticates to congratulate themselves on their superiority to the rest of the world. As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance.
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Miss Wormwood: Calvin, your test was an absolute disgrace! It's obvious you haven't read any of the material. Our first president was not Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and you ought to be ashamed to have turned in such preposterous answers! Calvin: I just don't test well.
Bill Watterson
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Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
Bill Watterson
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Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension.
Bill Watterson
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It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out.
Bill Watterson
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There's more to this world than just people, you know.
Bill Watterson
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You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!
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There are no restrictions of taste, approach, or subject matter. The gatekeepers are gone, so the prospect for new and different voices is exciting. Or at least it will be if anyone reads them. And it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It's hard to charge admission without a gate.
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Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.
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I wasn't having any luck getting accepted anyway and it forced me to re-examine what it was that I really wanted to do. In my experience in political cartooning, I was never one of those people who read the headlines and foams at the mouth with rabid opinion that I've just got to get down on paper.
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I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin
Bill Watterson
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Verbing weirds language.
Bill Watterson
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That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
Bill Watterson
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I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.
Bill Watterson
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I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!
Bill Watterson
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People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
Bill Watterson
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Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?
Bill Watterson