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It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.

Bill Watterson

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Bill Watterson
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: July 5
Author
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Washington
District of Columbia
Needs
Psychosomatic
Lobotomy
Saws
Need

More quotes by Bill Watterson

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Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
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I liked things better when I didn't understand them.
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Obviously the role of comics is changing very fast. On the one hand, comics are widely accepted and taken seriously. On the other hand, the mass media is disintegrating, and audiences are atomizing. I suspect comics will have less widespread cultural impact and make a lot less money.
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I'm learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework...procrastinating and negotiation.
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Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.
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What assurance do I have that your parenting isn't screwing me up?
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Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart - almost as good and a lot cheaper!
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So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it.
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Miss Wormwood: Calvin, your test was an absolute disgrace! It's obvious you haven't read any of the material. Our first president was not Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and you ought to be ashamed to have turned in such preposterous answers! Calvin: I just don't test well.
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Even when you look for it, you're never prepared for it.
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I'm willing to take the blame if the strip goes down the drain, and I want the credit if it succeeds. So long as it has my name on it, I want it to be mine.
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I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man's destruction of forests. . . . Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
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What I try to do in writing any character is to put myself in his position.
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The strips I admire go farther than a gag a day, and take us into a special world.
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Hee hee hee! You should've seen the look on your face! If mom and dad cared about me at all, they'd buy me some infra-red nighttime vision goggles.
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Obviously the great thing about this job is the complete freedom of the schedule. So long as I meet the deadline, they don't care when I work or how I work.
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Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.
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I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.
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When the cartoonist is trying to talk honestly and seriously about life, then I believe he has a responsibility to think beyond satisfying the market's every whim and desire.
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If you don't get a goodnight kiss, you get Kafka dreams.
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