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Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.

Bill Watterson

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Bill Watterson
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: July 5
Author
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Washington
District of Columbia
Arguing
Six
Year
Years
Never
Shaves
Argue

More quotes by Bill Watterson

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It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
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I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.
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As a kid, I knew I wanted to be either a cartoonist or an astronaut. The latter was never much of a possibility, as I don't even like riding in elevators.
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It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
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They can't chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can't contain it! Laws can't restrain it! Authority has no power over it!
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Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.
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Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
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Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?
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Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.
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Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension.
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I liked things better when I didn't understand them.
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Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?
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When the cartoonist is trying to talk honestly and seriously about life, then I believe he has a responsibility to think beyond satisfying the market's every whim and desire.
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There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
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S...For Stupendous! T...For Tiger, ferocity of! U...For Underwear, Red! P...For Power, Incredible! E...For excellent physique! N...For...Um...Something..Hm, well, I'll come back to that... D...For Determination! U...For...Wait, How do you spell this? Is it I??
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My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.
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I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.
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I'd like to see cartoonists measuring their work by higher standards than how many papers their strips are in and how much money they make.
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Miss Wormwood: Calvin, your test was an absolute disgrace! It's obvious you haven't read any of the material. Our first president was not Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and you ought to be ashamed to have turned in such preposterous answers! Calvin: I just don't test well.
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People always make the mistake of thinking art is created for them. But really, art is a private language for sophisticates to congratulate themselves on their superiority to the rest of the world. As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance.
Bill Watterson