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I'm related to people I don't relate to.

Bill Watterson

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Bill Watterson
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: July 5
Author
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Washington
District of Columbia
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More quotes by Bill Watterson

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Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.
Bill Watterson
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I wasn't having any luck getting accepted anyway and it forced me to re-examine what it was that I really wanted to do. In my experience in political cartooning, I was never one of those people who read the headlines and foams at the mouth with rabid opinion that I've just got to get down on paper.
Bill Watterson
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I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.
Bill Watterson
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What assurance do I have that your parenting isn't screwing me up?
Bill Watterson
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Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you’re really buying into someone else’s system of values, rules and rewards.
Bill Watterson
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Well, coming at a new work requires a certain amount of patience and energy, and there’s always the risk of disappointment. You can’t really blame people for preferring more of what they already know and like. The trade-off, of course, is that predictability is boring. Repetition is the death of magic.
Bill Watterson
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Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
Bill Watterson
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Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.
Bill Watterson
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I'm willing to take the blame if the strip goes down the drain, and I want the credit if it succeeds. So long as it has my name on it, I want it to be mine.
Bill Watterson
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All the new media will inevitably change the look, function, and maybe even the purpose of comics, but comics are vibrant and versatile, so I think they'll continue to find relevance one way or another. But they definitely won't be the same as what I grew up with.
Bill Watterson
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CALVIN: Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.
Bill Watterson
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I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.
Bill Watterson
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A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.
Bill Watterson
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Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
Bill Watterson
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Reality continues to ruin my life.
Bill Watterson
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I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.
Bill Watterson
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My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.
Bill Watterson
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It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.
Bill Watterson
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Obviously the great thing about this job is the complete freedom of the schedule. So long as I meet the deadline, they don't care when I work or how I work.
Bill Watterson
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God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
Bill Watterson