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Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.

Bill Watterson

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Bill Watterson
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: July 5
Author
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Washington
District of Columbia
Hard
Like
Slugs
Serve
Girls
Probably
Imagine
Purpose
Girl

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Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?
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My guess is that the editor [Cincinnati Post] wanted his own Jeff MacNelly (a Pulitzer winner at 24), and I didn't live up to his expectations. My Cincinnati days were pretty Kafkaesque.
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If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
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Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming, you have the Swiss Army Knife of mental tools, and it's going to come in handy all the time.
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As Calvin and Hobbes went on, the writing pushed the drawings into greater complexity. One of the jokes I really like is that the fantasies are drawn more realistically than reality, since that says a lot about what's going on in Calvin's head.
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Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
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Is it truly being good if the only reason I behave well is so I can get more loot at Christmas? I mean, really, all I'm doing is saying I can be bribed.
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I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
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As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.
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You are demoted from First Tiger to bulk rate.
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My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.
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I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.
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Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.
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Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?
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Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
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Sleepwalking? Nightmare? Homicidal psycho jungle cat!
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People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
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Hobbes: What are you doing? Calvin: Being cool. Hobbes: You look more like you're being bored. Calvin: The world bores you when you're cool. Hobbes: Look, I brought a sombrero! Now we can both be cool. Calvin: A sombrero?! Are you crazy?! Cool people don't wear sombreros! Hobbes: What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?
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Instead of asking what's wrong with rampant consumerism, we ought to be asking, 'What justifies it?' Popular art does not have to pander to the lowest level of intelligence and taste.
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Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
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