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It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.

Bill Watterson

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Bill Watterson
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: July 5
Author
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Washington
District of Columbia
Work
Surprising
Done
Hard

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I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!
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It must be hard to cook if you anthropomorphisize your vegetables.
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Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
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That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
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Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?
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My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.
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What assurance do I have that your parenting isn't screwing me up?
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I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
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It seems the less I do and say, the better everyone likes my work!
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Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement.
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Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.
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Once it's too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
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I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man's destruction of forests. . . . Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
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Is it truly being good if the only reason I behave well is so I can get more loot at Christmas? I mean, really, all I'm doing is saying I can be bribed.
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You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.
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Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
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As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.
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Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
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Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! ...Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
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Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.
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