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I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Bill Watterson

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Bill Watterson
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: July 5
Author
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Washington
District of Columbia
Dumb
Useless
Command
Stupid
Information
Wormwood
Hobbes
Relatable
Thoroughly

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Sleepwalking? Nightmare? Homicidal psycho jungle cat!
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Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you’re really buying into someone else’s system of values, rules and rewards.
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I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
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The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!
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Blustery cold days should be spend propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic books.
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I guess I just don't have the killer instinct that I think makes a great political cartoonist.
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For no reason I can think of, I've wandered far astray. And that is how I got to where I find myself today.
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There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
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I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.
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Mothers are the necessity of invention.
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I always think of Popeye and Barney Google as quintessential comic strips in that old rollicky, slapstick way we've sort of lost.
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The more words you have at your disposal, the more precisely you can express yourself.
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S...For Stupendous! T...For Tiger, ferocity of! U...For Underwear, Red! P...For Power, Incredible! E...For excellent physique! N...For...Um...Something..Hm, well, I'll come back to that... D...For Determination! U...For...Wait, How do you spell this? Is it I??
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Like delicate lace, so the threads intertwine, oh, gossamer web of wond'rous design! Such beauty and grace wild nature produces... Ughh, look at that spider suck out that bug's juices!
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In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.
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There's more to this world than just people, you know.
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No sport is less organized than Calvinball.
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It's only work if somebody makes you do it.
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For your information, I'm staying like this, and everyone else can just get used to it! If people don't like me the way I am, well TOUGH BEANS! It's a free country! I don't need anyone's permission to be the way I want! This is who I am - Take it or leave it!
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I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
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