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God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
Bill Watterson
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Bill Watterson
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: July 5
Author
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Washington
District of Columbia
Right
Number
Things
Behinds
Never
Motivational
Behind
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Dies
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Earth
Accomplish
More quotes by Bill Watterson
Miss Wormwood: Calvin, your test was an absolute disgrace! It's obvious you haven't read any of the material. Our first president was not Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and you ought to be ashamed to have turned in such preposterous answers! Calvin: I just don't test well.
Bill Watterson
My guess is that the editor [Cincinnati Post] wanted his own Jeff MacNelly (a Pulitzer winner at 24), and I didn't live up to his expectations. My Cincinnati days were pretty Kafkaesque.
Bill Watterson
Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming, you have the Swiss Army Knife of mental tools, and it's going to come in handy all the time.
Bill Watterson
Calvin:It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means? Television: ...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet
Bill Watterson
I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.
Bill Watterson
The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
Bill Watterson
The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!
Bill Watterson
What I try to do in writing any character is to put myself in his position.
Bill Watterson
Like delicate lace, so the threads intertwine, oh, gossamer web of wond'rous design! Such beauty and grace wild nature produces... Ughh, look at that spider suck out that bug's juices!
Bill Watterson
Form follows function, as the architects say. With words and pictures, you can do just about anything.
Bill Watterson
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
Bill Watterson
It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
Bill Watterson
The only permanent rule in Calvinball is that you can never play it the same way twice! (Calvin)
Bill Watterson
I'd like to see cartoonists measuring their work by higher standards than how many papers their strips are in and how much money they make.
Bill Watterson
It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
Bill Watterson
The problem with people is that they're only human.
Bill Watterson
I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip.
Bill Watterson
You are demoted from First Tiger to bulk rate.
Bill Watterson
I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.
Bill Watterson
I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
Bill Watterson