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When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they'd said or did when they were in office.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Loosen
Tongues
Suddenly
Tongue
Office
Wish
Things
People
More quotes by Bill Maher
Shouldn't we be against procreation at this point in time? With overpopulation and the strain on the resources on this planet? Shouldn't we reward people who don't spawn?
Bill Maher
North Korea has the same ability to launch a nuclear strike against America as I do. It's like walking through a parking lot and getting barked at by a chihuahua locked in a car.
Bill Maher
Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can't pass a background check support background checks.
Bill Maher
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't be destroyed, then implant one in your uterus and bring it to term. That's right, put your cervix where your mouth is.
Bill Maher
My father said, Bring along your best girl. This is something you say to a pimp!
Bill Maher
A president can be unpopular for good reasons. You know, I'm not always on the side that the people are right, for God's sake. But, you know, he's not popular when he goes overseas. He couldn't go to Rosa Parks' funeral.
Bill Maher
Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.
Bill Maher
Sarah Palin said perhaps the most irresponsible thing I've ever heard any politician say. She said, 'The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.' You think she realizes that nuking Russia might not be good for someone who can see Russia from her house?
Bill Maher
Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.
Bill Maher
Amazon has included me in an opportunity to provide top-shelf television-style programming live on the world's computer screens. To hold forth with the industry's very best actors, directors, musicians, authors - I'm thrilled to be on the cutting edge of this.
Bill Maher
The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: At some point, a pit bull does stop whining.
Bill Maher
We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
Bill Maher
What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I'm not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they're anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they're anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they're super Christian, they're a witch.
Bill Maher
The Senate decided they will be smoke-free. They ordained that all public areas in the Senate are now smoke-free. However, the senators themselves will still be allowed to blow smoke up each other's asses.
Bill Maher
What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a silver platter.
Bill Maher
In ten Muslim countries you can get the death penalty just for being gay. If they were chopping the heads off of gay people in the Vatican, wouldn't there be a greater outcry among liberals?
Bill Maher
New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it.
Bill Maher
Don't vote for Republicans or Democrats until they clean up the open system of bribery that we live under.
Bill Maher
In fact, because people are religious, they think they can do bad things.
Bill Maher
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.
Bill Maher
