Quote

Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it's sexy but one thing that men never think is, Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.

Bill Maher

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Something
Sex
Make
Stop
Paragraphs
Never
Read
Paragraph
Would
Women
Text
Men
Body
Hot
Think
Better
Sexy
Thinking
Thing
Bodies
Long
Putting

More quotes by Bill Maher

Image
Americans are desperately, here on the West Coast, buying up and hoarding iodine pills... Isn't it great that in a land that is divided between conservative morons and liberal pussies, somehow we have managed to find a way to pull together and behave like moronic pussies?
Bill Maher
Image
Many people can't deal with unanswered questions, which religion exploits by providing answers, even if they are just made up by someone. This is also why we love TV shows and movies that neatly wrap up everything in exactly an hour or two.
Bill Maher
Image
The media is all over this Oui interview that Arnold did 25 years ago. Now, he's admitted he smoked pot, had group sex and didn't mind dating a girl that was out of shape and kind of fat if she satisfied him sexually. So, his handlers have stopped comparing him to Reagan and started comparing him to Clinton.
Bill Maher
Image
One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
Bill Maher
Image
I'm not a joiner. I don't like organizations.
Bill Maher
Image
Mitt Romney comes from a Mormon background. I don't know how many wives he has. I'm not saying that I believe in that, I'm just saying he was born on a Mormon compound. I'm not a 'Wifer' but for some reason he's never shown his original marriage certificate.
Bill Maher
Image
New Rule: News organizations have to stop using the phrase: We go beyond the headlines. That's your job, dummy. You don't see American Airlines saying, We land our jets on the runway!
Bill Maher
Image
You know, the only place in America where the millionaires and billionaires are predominantly liberal is here in Hollywood.
Bill Maher
Image
Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
Bill Maher
Image
Well, I hate to tell youbut if you have a flu shot for more than five years in a row, there's ten times the likelihood that you'll get Alzheimer's disease.
Bill Maher
Image
People sometimes say how standup is so hard, and I always tell them that it's hard at the beginning.
Bill Maher
Image
Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.
Bill Maher
Image
I never, ever in my life tried to be outrageous. I've only ever tried to say what was truly on my mind and not pull punches about it.
Bill Maher
Image
I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?
Bill Maher
Image
I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff.
Bill Maher
Image
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
Bill Maher
Image
Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican.
Bill Maher
Image
I feel like I'm wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
Bill Maher
Image
Anyone who is elected mayor of a place called Sin City is allowed to be a drunk.
Bill Maher
Image
If the NRA keeps messing with the President's daughters, they're going to have to start worrying about Michelle Obama's guns.
Bill Maher