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I don't know if you heard the news, but Wall Street now is a farmer's market. I don't want to say things are going downhill quickly, but Obama's new campaign slogan is 'Are you better off than you were four days ago?'

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Wall
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Heard
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Four
Obama
Downhill
Better
Street
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Farmer
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Farmers

More quotes by Bill Maher

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If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.
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Ebola has arrived in New York City. And I say, 'if it can make it there...it can make it anywhere!'
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We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
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New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of every man for himself doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee.
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New Rule: News organizations have to stop using the phrase: We go beyond the headlines. That's your job, dummy. You don't see American Airlines saying, We land our jets on the runway!
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If the NRA keeps messing with the President's daughters, they're going to have to start worrying about Michelle Obama's guns.
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But isn't there something wrong when I'm the only guy in the country that got fired for 9/11?
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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
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I think I know now why we are occupying Iraq. In case we have to sell America and move to a smaller country.
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This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.
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Selling pot allowed me to get through college and make enough money to start off in comedy.
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Hillary Clinton and Nancy Reagan have a lot in common - they're both smarter than their husbands and both consulted the stars for guidance, Nancy with astrology and Hillary with Barbra Streisand.
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I don't say that I'm an atheist. I don't like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don't know. And if you don't know - and you don't - just man up and say you don't know. Don't turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
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We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.
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I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.
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Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.
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The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you'll wind up with a lover.
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If you're living hand-to-mouth, and still buying into the con that the big threats to America are socialized medicine, Mexican immigrants and tax increases, then you're not being kept down by the rich. You're being kept down by you.
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The Senate decided they will be smoke-free. They ordained that all public areas in the Senate are now smoke-free. However, the senators themselves will still be allowed to blow smoke up each other's asses.
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If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.
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