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To paraphrase the great Will Rogers, El Rusho never met a pharmacist he did not like.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Pharmacist
Rogers
Paraphrase
Roger
Mets
Great
Never
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More quotes by Bill Maher

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When you look at belief in such things - as do you go to heaven, is there a devil - we have more in common with (Muslin countries) Turkey and Iran and Syria than we do with European nations and Canada and nations that, yes, I would consider more enlightened that us.
Bill Maher
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It was quite a sight to see Obama next to President Hu. Obama has a Nobel Peace Prize in his basement, and Hu has a Nobel Peace Prize winner in his.
Bill Maher
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We don't do sensible things. This is America.
Bill Maher
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New polls show that Obama is now pulling away from Mitt Romney. And, of course, what could be more natural than to see Mitt Romney and pull away?
Bill Maher
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Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican.
Bill Maher
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If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.
Bill Maher
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Between Ron Paul and Rick Perry, I think the lesson is don't get sick in Texas.
Bill Maher
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Jesus, as a philosopher is wonderful. There's no greater role model, in my view, than Jesus Christ. It's just a shame that most of the people who follow him and call themselves Christians act nothing like him.
Bill Maher
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London. Another terrorist attack and ISIS claimed credit. I am surprised because I thought we had wiped out ISIS on day one as Donald Trump said.
Bill Maher
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North Korea has the same ability to launch a nuclear strike against America as I do. It's like walking through a parking lot and getting barked at by a chihuahua locked in a car.
Bill Maher
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I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
Bill Maher
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All across the Middle East in the streets, people are demanding democracy. It's amazing. The only way in America you get people to get worked up like that is to threaten to give them health care.
Bill Maher
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The Hollywood executives are, like, ‘We’re not racist, we just have to pretend to be racists because we’re capitalists. We want to sell our movies in China (and) they don’t like Kevin Hart.’
Bill Maher
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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
Bill Maher
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Why are the patriots the ones who don't want to spend money on trains?
Bill Maher
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To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't be destroyed, then implant one in your uterus and bring it to term. That's right, put your cervix where your mouth is.
Bill Maher
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New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of every man for himself doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee.
Bill Maher
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It's been over a year since they've graduated, but neither of the Bush twins have found any work. Why don't they sign up (for military service in Iraq)? Do they hate America, or just freedom in general?
Bill Maher
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I'm okay with it now that Obama’s in office. I'm kind of trusting of him. But President Ted Cruz? Where this is going would bother me.
Bill Maher
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Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'.
Bill Maher