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I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Two
Hotel
Sent
Staying
Service
Room
Rooms
Hookers
Strange
Sandwich
Called
Sandwiches

More quotes by Bill Maher

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When you look at belief in such things - as do you go to heaven, is there a devil - we have more in common with (Muslin countries) Turkey and Iran and Syria than we do with European nations and Canada and nations that, yes, I would consider more enlightened that us.
Bill Maher
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I have such disdain for anybody who gets joy out of blowing the stuffing out of a little woodland creature, that I don't really care if any of them gets shot.
Bill Maher
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Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion!
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end - and perhaps any day now - does it not drain one's motivation to improve life on earth while we're here?
Bill Maher
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The president finally explained why he sat in that classroom on 9/11 for 7 minutes after he was told the country was under attack. He said he was 'collecting his thoughts.' What a time to start a new hobby.'
Bill Maher
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Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
Bill Maher
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The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
Bill Maher
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As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why politics is such a rich area for us, because politicians make promises, and they don't keep them, and when we point out the difference, we get the laugh.
Bill Maher
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The president had a press conference about this this week and he said that the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. And then he added, 'Like having no plan ever stopped me before.'. He has something even more deadly in store for them - we're going to bring them democracy.
Bill Maher
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Glenn Beck retired or got fired...and a lot of people are asking who will now speak for the raving lunatics who startle you outside of a parking garage?
Bill Maher
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I don't know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
Bill Maher
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Why are the patriots the ones who don't want to spend money on trains?
Bill Maher
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To those people who say, 'My father is alive because of animal experimentation,' I say, 'Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.' Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
Bill Maher
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France... What can you say about a country that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully-conceived and brilliantly-executed war in Iraq?
Bill Maher
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The Senate decided they will be smoke-free. They ordained that all public areas in the Senate are now smoke-free. However, the senators themselves will still be allowed to blow smoke up each other's asses.
Bill Maher
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I don't do heroin myself, but it's done wonders for my music collection.
Bill Maher
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Death is the monster we all fear, yet with each day, we walk toward it, and can't help doing so we can't help but walk toward the one thing we're most trying to avoid.
Bill Maher
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Gingrich is the foremost intellectual in the Republican party like Gene Simmons is the foremost intellectual in Kiss.
Bill Maher
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They say that Japan's rigorous building codes and regulations saved thousands of lives over there. Or, as Republicans here saw it, it 'fostered a socialist, anti-business environment that's worse than being dead.'
Bill Maher
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We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.
Bill Maher