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I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Called
Sandwiches
Two
Hotel
Sent
Staying
Service
Room
Rooms
Hookers
Strange
Sandwich

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In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
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I'm guessing our soldiers are happy to be leaving Iraq. It is no fun being in a country where there's crumbling infrastructure and an ignorant population, but they said they're happy to come home anyway.
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I think I know now why we are occupying Iraq. In case we have to sell America and move to a smaller country.
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Saddam Hussein is Hitler like Oasis was The Beatles.
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To paraphrase the great Will Rogers, El Rusho never met a pharmacist he did not like.
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Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we're someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
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I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is to realistically criticize what's wrong with it.
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Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don't pay attention.
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don't. I wish everyone agreed with me it would save a lot of time.
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Russia has banned all adoptions to Americans. So, if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome, you're going to have to wait until Lindsay Lohan reproduces.
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When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
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A lot of people say they are dyslexic some have to realize that they are just stupid.
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Every time [Rand Paul] opens his mouth, it gets a little crazier. Today he angrily demanded that the liberal media stop quoting him in context.
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Whoever needs the relationship less has all the power.
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Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids.
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Well, I hate to tell youbut if you have a flu shot for more than five years in a row, there's ten times the likelihood that you'll get Alzheimer's disease.
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Doctors said that the test most commonly used to screen for colon cancer doesn't go far enough. They're recommending a procedure that involves photographing the entire colon. I say, don't vie CBS an idea for another reality show.
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I think Democrats are complacent. They think that Russia is going to save us. Bob Mueller is going to come in with a report.
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I think religion is a neurological disorder.
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Space tourism is God's way of telling you you aren't spending enough on lap dances, baccarat and cocaine.
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