Quote

I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff.

Bill Maher

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Heaviest
Funniest
Comes
Stuff
Think
Thinking

More quotes by Bill Maher

Image
Let us not become so tolerant that we tolerate intolerance.
Bill Maher
Image
Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.
Bill Maher
Image
It's going to be Perry, it's going to be Romney...It's sort of a battle for the soul of the Republican Party - and they have no soul, but the space where a soul would be.
Bill Maher
Image
They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.
Bill Maher
Image
Being politicians, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother's battle with cancer. Harry Reid talked about a kid with a cleft palate. And John McCain told how he once carried a brain dead woman through an entire campaign.
Bill Maher
Image
It's very hard not to be condescending when you're explaining something to an idiot.
Bill Maher
Image
People sometimes say how standup is so hard, and I always tell them that it's hard at the beginning.
Bill Maher
Image
Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.
Bill Maher
Image
Do you think it's possible that when we're on something like marijuana or mushrooms and we believe we're having a really spiritual experience that we're just high?
Bill Maher
Image
I have two dogs. If I had retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet, the dogs are pretty much the same thing.
Bill Maher
Image
North Korea has the same ability to launch a nuclear strike against America as I do. It's like walking through a parking lot and getting barked at by a chihuahua locked in a car.
Bill Maher
Image
Every time somebody says 'Islamophobia' it gives the people who are intimidating cover.
Bill Maher
Image
Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, 'White people's problems.'
Bill Maher
Image
Look, I have never made a secret of the fact that I have tried marijuana... About 50,000 times.
Bill Maher
Image
Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.
Bill Maher
Image
Now, I'm no doctor, but I am on TV. And in my professional opinion, George Bush is a paranoid schizophrenic.
Bill Maher
Image
I hate religion. I think it's a neurological disorder.
Bill Maher
Image
Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn't know a game is going on?
Bill Maher
Image
Why are the patriots the ones who don't want to spend money on trains?
Bill Maher
Image
Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
Bill Maher