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The other guys are selling certainty. Not me. I'm on the corner with doubt.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Corners
Selling
Guys
Doubt
Guy
Corner
Certainty

More quotes by Bill Maher

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I'd like to protect children, too, but... is everything worth sacrificing to that? I mean, drugs have done a lot of good... They've midwived a lot of good ideas... lot of great songs, you know? I think Penny Lane is worth 10 dead kids... I think Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. There, I said it.
Bill Maher
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We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
Bill Maher
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Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.
Bill Maher
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I think the news people no longer have any idea of what covering the news is.
Bill Maher
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Anyone who is elected mayor of a place called Sin City is allowed to be a drunk.
Bill Maher
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Donald Trump announced he got his own segment every Monday morning on Fox News. Just what Fox News needs - another blonde airhead.
Bill Maher
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John Kerry is finding out that it is no fun to be the front runner, that's when you get all the heat. He had to deny internet rumors this week that he had Botox treatments. The Republicans say Kerry should have a clear, unfurrowed brow the old fashioned way by not giving a sh--.
Bill Maher
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F. Scott Fitzgerald has an indespensible quote: 'The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at once and still retain the ability to function'. Or, as I like to call it, 'O.J. killed his wife, and the police are corrupt.'
Bill Maher
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In fact, because people are religious, they think they can do bad things.
Bill Maher
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France... What can you say about a country that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully-conceived and brilliantly-executed war in Iraq?
Bill Maher
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You can't get saved if you don't play.
Bill Maher
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When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they'd said or did when they were in office.
Bill Maher
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We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
Bill Maher
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The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his kids need special protection. I love the NRA accusing anyone of being paranoid. It's like a septic tank saying, 'You need a mint.'
Bill Maher
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Americans are desperately, here on the West Coast, buying up and hoarding iodine pills... Isn't it great that in a land that is divided between conservative morons and liberal pussies, somehow we have managed to find a way to pull together and behave like moronic pussies?
Bill Maher
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Republicans stand by their convictions. Stupid, ignorant, world-destroying convictions based on disproven economic fantasies and ancient books full of primitive morality and magic people. But convictions, nonetheless.
Bill Maher
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The president finally explained why he sat in that classroom on 9/11 for 7 minutes after he was told the country was under attack. He said he was 'collecting his thoughts.' What a time to start a new hobby.'
Bill Maher
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The Eleventh Commandment: don't speak ill of a fellow Republican. What if the fellow Republican is doing something that hurts America? Isn't it the patriot who sides with America before he sides with the Republicans?
Bill Maher
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To paraphrase the great Will Rogers, El Rusho never met a pharmacist he did not like.
Bill Maher
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To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
Bill Maher