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We've been on a long break and I've just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Kicking
Break
Government
Back
Nothing
Long
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More quotes by Bill Maher
What does it take for Republicans to take off the flag pin and say, 'I am just too embarrassed to be on this team'?
Bill Maher
We do it all the time, we legislate taste. We do it with the tax code. Churches and children get a tax break, because it's assumed that we all agree that we want to encourage churches and children. I don't. I don't. That's my opinion. I don't want to encourage either churches or children, and it's a very bad idea to put them together.
Bill Maher
Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.
Bill Maher
Greed can overtake smart.
Bill Maher
I don't do heroin myself, but it's done wonders for my music collection.
Bill Maher
How come regional pandering only works in one direction, right? You never see a Southern politician trying to win votes in New York State by saying, 'I read books and make a mean vegan meatloaf.'
Bill Maher
The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.
Bill Maher
A flu shot just compromises your immune system.
Bill Maher
Officials believe that one of the terrorists was a woman. And there are female suicide bombers. It's just that their reward in paradise is a little different. Instead of getting 72 virgins, they get 72 guys who just listen.
Bill Maher
Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.
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What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he's mad at? I mean, besides Chris Christie.
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Being a conservative also used to involve the concept of people being free to do whatever they want to do, as long as it doesn't hurt somebody else. Conservatives used to be very libertarian.
Bill Maher
So when I say we had been the cowards, yes, that's what I meant, we as a society. And that's everybody, including myself. I had been screaming about the drug war and this war and other wars. I should have been more on terrorism, too. So should you, so should everybody.
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People sometimes say how standup is so hard, and I always tell them that it's hard at the beginning.
Bill Maher
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
Bill Maher
Love does not conquer all.
Bill Maher
I used to stay at the Trump [hotels] and I just wouldn't now. The people were great, but I wouldn't stay at a 'birther' hotel.
Bill Maher
Just be happy that something traveled 5,000 miles across the Pacific and, for once, it wasn't your job.
Bill Maher
Let's face it God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
Bill Maher
Hollywood isn't your cesspool, America. It's your mirror.
Bill Maher
