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The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that's the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Cause
Full
Sports
Causes
Snowboarding
Half
Pipe
Really
Perform
Smoking
Sport

More quotes by Bill Maher

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Men are only as loyal as their options.
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The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America would just blunder around the Middle East killing people without all the facts. That doesn't sound like the America I know.
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A new biography came out that says that in high school Obama was a huge pothead … Mitt Romney had to respond to this and said, ‘It is appalling that Obama spent his teenage years goofing around and smoking pot when he should have been pinning down gay kids and cutting their hair.
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Death is the monster we all fear, yet with each day, we walk toward it, and can't help doing so we can't help but walk toward the one thing we're most trying to avoid.
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I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.
Bill Maher
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A flu shot just compromises your immune system.
Bill Maher
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Tea Party has now cost the Republicans 5 senate seats. My next donation is going to them.
Bill Maher
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I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is to realistically criticize what's wrong with it.
Bill Maher
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There are two things that you have to lie to get through. One is politics, and the other is marriage.
Bill Maher
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Ted Cruz, of course, was furious that the big storm back east shut down the government. He said, 'That my job!' But you know, there is a big difference between Ted Cruz and snow. Both are white and everyone’s sick of them – but eventually snow goes away.
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Don't you miss the days when America was just morally bankrupt?
Bill Maher
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What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a silver platter.
Bill Maher
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Kids. They're not easy, but there has to be some penalty for having sex.
Bill Maher
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Russia has banned all adoptions to Americans. So, if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome, you're going to have to wait until Lindsay Lohan reproduces.
Bill Maher
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I don't respect religon. I don't respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
Bill Maher
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Dealing w/ Hamas is like dealing w/ a crazy woman who’s trying to kill u – u can only hold her wrists so long before you have to slap her.
Bill Maher
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It could be anything. It could be Jesus and it could be the Furby and it could be the lint that lives in my navel, but it's probably not. Whatever it is, I doubt we as humans on Earth could have any perception of it while we're here. So, why give yourself a headache thinking about it. Just be a good person. That's what an ethicist is.
Bill Maher
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In ancient times they sacrificed the virgins. Men were not about to sacrifice the sluts!
Bill Maher
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You can behead people, you can crucify them, you can cut their hearts out and eat them on YouTube...but, don't screw with the place where God hid America's oil.
Bill Maher
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The idea that I hear from the right wing in the last few decades, is that any sort of sacrifice is an affront to my liberty as an American to be a pig the way I want to.
Bill Maher