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Recently, there's been a trend in America that I find very disturbing... rewarding immoral and illegal behavior...For example, we now give free needles to junkies, which seems to me to be only a step away from giving condoms to rapists.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
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Recently
Condoms
Seems
Trends
Condom
America
Illegal
Junkie
Give
Step
Needles
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Behavior
Trend
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Steps
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Example
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Junkies
Free
Immoral
Rapists
More quotes by Bill Maher
What is Kanye West's message? Like most rap, I am the greatest person ever and you're not. I used to call it affirmative action for the ego.
Bill Maher
John McCain, who once called Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson 'forces of evil', has now come out for teaching intelligent design. That is sad, when smart people have to pretend to be so dumb to get elected.
Bill Maher
I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.
Bill Maher
Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you that there wouldn't be so much traffic if people like you put down the phone and concentrated on the road... besides I can't talk now, I'm in the car behind you trying to watch a DVD.
Bill Maher
What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a silver platter.
Bill Maher
Space tourism is God's way of telling you you aren't spending enough on lap dances, baccarat and cocaine.
Bill Maher
If anybody is so mad at Vladimir Putin, you know what they could do? They could advocate for a gas tax. He gets all his leverage from selling gas and oil. If we had a gas tax that made that less palatable, he would be less of a player on the world stage.
Bill Maher
The Senate decided they will be smoke-free. They ordained that all public areas in the Senate are now smoke-free. However, the senators themselves will still be allowed to blow smoke up each other's asses.
Bill Maher
Also, in the category of 'obvious but still shocking,' an animal called a 'killer whale' killed someone who was trying to play with it. Now, no one knows exactly what enraged the whale, but earlier in the week, it had been thrown off a flight by Southwest Airlines.
Bill Maher
George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.
Bill Maher
Gingrich is the foremost intellectual in the Republican party like Gene Simmons is the foremost intellectual in Kiss.
Bill Maher
You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery...
Bill Maher
It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.
Bill Maher
I believe only foreigners should run for president...Face it, the presidency is a lousy job. And who does lousy jobs we don't want anymore better than foreigners?
Bill Maher
A Republican Congressman, Rep. Chris Lee, was caught flirting with a woman trolling for dates on Craigslist and sent her a shirtless photo of himself. He lied about his age and his marital status. He said he was 39 and divorced. He's 46 and married, though being a Republican congressman, I'm guessing he's really 60 and gay.
Bill Maher
Ronald Reagan basically legalized every illegal immigrant in this country. I just like to bring this up because every week I like to make Republican heads explode about how they love Ronald Reagan, but would despise everything he did.
Bill Maher
Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.
Bill Maher
Sarah Palin should not be on vacation. She should be in summer school.
Bill Maher
I think what's dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
Bill Maher
The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.
Bill Maher