Quote

Guys you have way too much invested in sport. Guys you are not the tenth man. You're a machine for turning beer into piss that's what you are!

Bill Maher

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Guy
Invested
Much
Turning
Way
Beer
Men
Machine
Sport
Machines
Guys
Piss
Sports
Tenth

More quotes by Bill Maher

Image
The NYPD must stop acting like the only thing black people do is run from them and shoot at them. Believe it or not there are some black New Yorkers who won't run and can't shoot -- they're called the # Knicks .
Bill Maher
Image
Selling pot allowed me to get through college and make enough money to start off in comedy.
Bill Maher
Image
Don't you miss the days when America was just morally bankrupt?
Bill Maher
Image
Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
Bill Maher
Image
Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.
Bill Maher
Image
I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
Bill Maher
Image
To paraphrase the great Will Rogers, El Rusho never met a pharmacist he did not like.
Bill Maher
Image
The Hollywood executives are, like, ‘We’re not racist, we just have to pretend to be racists because we’re capitalists. We want to sell our movies in China (and) they don’t like Kevin Hart.’
Bill Maher
Image
There's a phrase we live by in America: In God We Trust. It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
Bill Maher
Image
America is like a dog. I'm sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can't actually explain issues to a dog.
Bill Maher
Image
Democrats are afraid of polls. Republicans aren`t afraid of polls. Republicans make polls. Democrats run from polls.
Bill Maher
Image
Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.
Bill Maher
Image
Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can't pass a background check support background checks.
Bill Maher
Image
How can the Republicans get away with picking their Dennis Kucinich, but when - if the Democrats tried it, all hell would break lose?
Bill Maher
Image
At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
Bill Maher
Image
They are having a panel look into the intelligence failures in Iraq. It is a seven-person panel and it will include Senator John McCain, but the findings from this panel will not be issued until after the election. President Bush says the commission can go off and report back in a year, you know, the same way it works in the Texas National Guard.
Bill Maher
Image
If you ignore every single thing Jesus told you to do, you are just auditing. You're not a Christian.
Bill Maher
Image
Eell there always is a tendency in human nature to deify.
Bill Maher
Image
I doubt anything will really come of this lawsuit. First of all, it's a lawsuit. It involves a subpoena. And try to find a Republican who will be willing to be seen serving a black man.
Bill Maher
Image
I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting.
Bill Maher