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Space tourism is God's way of telling you you aren't spending enough on lap dances, baccarat and cocaine.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Spending
Telling
Aren
Space
Enough
Dances
Way
Tourism
Lap
Cocaine

More quotes by Bill Maher

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There's a phrase we live by in America: In God We Trust. It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
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I'm okay with it now that Obama’s in office. I'm kind of trusting of him. But President Ted Cruz? Where this is going would bother me.
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I think the right-wingers have to buddy up to the fact that either the minimum wage has to go up, and people get enough money to live, or you're always going to have people needing government assistance. You can't have it both ways.
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Democrats are afraid of polls. Republicans aren`t afraid of polls. Republicans make polls. Democrats run from polls.
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George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.
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I don't think all life is precious. I know people say that all the time, Life is precious. I think some life is precious, and some life is just a waste of protoplasm. Start over.
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Let us not become so tolerant that we tolerate intolerance.
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I get the Playboy thing a lot. People assume I go out with bimbos. I couldn`t go out with bimbos if I tried! I scare them off! The women that like me are smart. So I go to the Playboy Mansion four or five times a year, but people think I go all the time.
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I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting.
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If a President must constantly remind the people that we're at war, then we're not.
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Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said, 'Marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel Maddow are what's ruining this country.'
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The country can't get well if the people are sick. And the people are sick.
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I don't know if [Barack Obama] saw the latest religion survey, but almost a quarter of the country are Nones. I don't mean the ones who hit me on the knuckles with a ruler in Sunday School - I mean they put None for religion.
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You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery...
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I never, ever in my life tried to be outrageous. I've only ever tried to say what was truly on my mind and not pull punches about it.
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So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies.
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Donald Rumsfeld also lost his gig last week. When asked what his future plans are, Rumsfeld said, 'What's a plan?'
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This party is just full of children, and someone needs to leave them in a hot car.
Bill Maher
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Eric Holder, our attorney general, says the Mr. Snowden will be brought to justice. Just as soon as we can find someone who can track his calls and read his emails.
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I understand we're on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at 'Second World' before we get there?
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